Two great warriors were escorting a beautiful princess back to her home. Before heading out on their venture to the princess' home, the warriors were warned to not heed any distractions that may come their way. The warriors listened to this advice, and sought to follow it. So, the three set off to get the princess back to her home. Little did they know, a dark wizard was watching them, and planned to trap the warriors, and prevent the princess from returning home. On the way they passed through many different landscapes; a dark and treacherous forest, a rocky mountain range, and finally long flowing plains relatively near where the princess resided. The dark forest presented its own problems for the warriors as there were many monsters that they had to slay in order to make it through. First, they came across a giant six-armed bear. This bear came at them quickly, but was also struck down equally as quickly because it was rather loud in its approach. The first warrior shot the bear in the heart with an arrow, and the bear went down for the count. After making it past the six-armed bear, the warriors came face to face with a pack of wolves. These wolves came from many different angles, and made for a challenge for the warriors. However, in the end they were no match for the warriors as they were able to separate and conquer the wolves with their swords. Making it through the forest was a great challenge for the three, but somehow, they managed to survive that part of their journey. Next, they had to cross through some rocky and mountainous terrain. This was the only challenge they faced during this part of their journey. The three had to work together in order to make all the necessary jumps and steps in this area. The dark wizard was still observing the three on their journey, waiting to make his move at the most opportune time. Once the warriors and princess made it past the mountains, the wizard knew that the three would let their guard down as they only had to make it through a very flat and flowing plain. This was his opportunity. The wizard enchanted a nearby horse, and made him glow a beautiful silver. As the travelers passed into the plains, the princess saw this horse and demanded one of the warriors bring it to her so she could take it home. The wizard's plan was working perfectly. After all of their travels, the warriors had forgotten the advice they had received what felt like so long ago to them. So, the first warrior agreed and started following the horse. This is when the horse started sprinting back towards the wizard. As they approached the wizard's hiding spot, the wizard revealed himself, and launched a spell at the warrior. The warrior was incinerated instantly, and the remaining two members of the party began to flee. Now the wizard had to figure out how to lure the other two toward him so he could finally kidnap the princess.
Author's Notes: This is an adaptation to the Golden deer story. Ravana enchants a deer and makes it look golden, and Sita wants to get a closer look at the deer. So, Rama sets off to go and get the deer for Sita. The protectors of Sita are unaware of the fact that this is an evil plan set forth by Ravana. I made the deer a horse, and expanded a little bit on the settings in which my characters traveled through. As well as provided a bit of reasoning for why the evil character wanted to do this.
Bibliography: Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie
Hi Stephan! Wow, I really enjoyed your story! I liked how you decided to keep the same story line but put everything in a different world with different characters and beings. I wasn't expecting your story to end the way it did but it makes me want to read more and find out what happens next. I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteI liked your take on this story! Fantasy themes are some of my favorite. Changing the deer to a horse was a good choice, and adding more background info and details helped make it more interesting. If I had to recommend anything, I would recommend spacing out your paragraphs. I lost my place a couple times while reading because the lines were a bit close together. But that may also be because I don't have the best eyesight!
ReplyDeleteHey Stephan! I thought this was a very nice story. You included lots of background for your story and characters. I did feel like the story started kind of abruptly, so I wondered if there might be a way to maybe introduce the two warriors and explain why they're taking the princess back. I remember being frustrated with Rama for falling for Ravana's trap, but your story made it feel more reasonable. They had already gone so far and conquered everything in their path, so why should one horse be an issue? One more thing: maybe consider spacing your story out into paragraphs. It really helps to break up the scenes. Nicely done and thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey Stephan,
ReplyDeleteThe way you changed the story whilst still keeping the overall plot of the story the same was amazing. The ending really made me think. I do wonder what happens next. I would love to read more of your stories as they are well written with a lot of thought put into them. The horse was a nice touch.